"and think to myself “I have to get out”. I have an overwhelming urge to get on a train and away from “here”, because it’s not enough for me." very much relate to this! i'm not from a suburb but rather a very boring neighborhood within a mostly struggling city in a completely disregarded state.
i've always hated being there because i too, wanted to leave to new york or some other perceived paragon of "culture" because there was nothing for me where i was. i still want to leave lol. another lovely read!
This is so interesting to me because as someone who grew up in Hong Kong, 'small town' and 'big city' are really amorphous concepts to me. Most everyone I've met outside of Hong Kong thinks I must, naturally, be a city girl which is somewhat true—growing up amongst tall buildings and mega malls, learning to take public transport and not talk to strangers very early on, etc—but I'm also sheltered in a lot of ways because I grew up within a very narrow social-economic group.
Anyway hi from an English city (it's not really)!!
I don't understand how you can so concisely put my amorphous emotions down into comprehensible words.
The part about escaping to some place and having this dream of "coming into yourself" while you're there struck me deep because I've been grappling with accepting/rejecting that for years. I love this piece and I'm so glad I found your substack.
Sadly, I'm still in the muck of "figuring things out," which is why I'm writing on here, I guess. It's relieving to know I'm not completely other in the way I experience things.
I grew up in a super small town, and I remember my cousins saying that they were sorry for me and my siblings, because we didn't know anything. Maybe that was true, but we were always happy, and since moving to a "big" city (it isn't huge, but significantly bigger than my hometown) I've begun to realize how lucky we were for the place we grew up.
I loved hearing your opinion on this, you write beautifully <3
as a girl who walks around my suburban town listening to the whole stick season album, i completely feel u! i think u make such an interesting point about everyone wanting to be both a victim and the main character, which really just translates to the fact that everyone secretly wants attention. which is natural, i suppose. this was so insightful as always and i really see myself in your words!! <3
I relate to this so much, even though I’m from Europe and not from Australia haha. I’m also so lucky to have travelled a lot (it’s quite easy in Europe lol) but I’m also from a smaller city and recently one of my friends has moved to London to study there and I envy her (although I don’t like to admit it). But I’ve been to London, and although I loved it, being there didn’t make me necessarily „happier“ u know. I think it’s really the people you are surrounded with and the things you love (I can do yoga here too and go to book shops), in London it’s just really cool to see a Paul mescal movie on a big screen whereas here, no one cares (I don’t know if that makes sense) and there are a lot more cool art galleries and shows and stuff, but yeah, I struggle a lot with never feeling satisfied although I’m privileged to even attend university and live where I live and being able to hopefully choose one day where to live.
ooh yeah the paul mescal on a big screen + art galleries is definitely a motivation!! the culture scene where i live is kind of mid too
i'm lowkey jealous of ppl in europe precisely bc of the travelling thing it takes so long to get anywhere here that ig it's easier to feel kinda isolated
love your work!
"and think to myself “I have to get out”. I have an overwhelming urge to get on a train and away from “here”, because it’s not enough for me." very much relate to this! i'm not from a suburb but rather a very boring neighborhood within a mostly struggling city in a completely disregarded state.
i've always hated being there because i too, wanted to leave to new york or some other perceived paragon of "culture" because there was nothing for me where i was. i still want to leave lol. another lovely read!
And love lady bird !!
This is so interesting to me because as someone who grew up in Hong Kong, 'small town' and 'big city' are really amorphous concepts to me. Most everyone I've met outside of Hong Kong thinks I must, naturally, be a city girl which is somewhat true—growing up amongst tall buildings and mega malls, learning to take public transport and not talk to strangers very early on, etc—but I'm also sheltered in a lot of ways because I grew up within a very narrow social-economic group.
Anyway hi from an English city (it's not really)!!
Yeah I actually had to google small town/big city and discovered there's not many distinctions, particularly in aus, where it's hard to classify.
interesting to hear from the opposite position, thank you so much for sharing !!
As a fellow small-town Australian who is OBSESSED with Noah Kahan and Phoebe Bridgers, I completely understand what you're going through.
It just can't come soon enough
I don't understand how you can so concisely put my amorphous emotions down into comprehensible words.
The part about escaping to some place and having this dream of "coming into yourself" while you're there struck me deep because I've been grappling with accepting/rejecting that for years. I love this piece and I'm so glad I found your substack.
have you come to any conclusions? advice would be good
and welcome!! glad to have you here
Sadly, I'm still in the muck of "figuring things out," which is why I'm writing on here, I guess. It's relieving to know I'm not completely other in the way I experience things.
I grew up in a super small town, and I remember my cousins saying that they were sorry for me and my siblings, because we didn't know anything. Maybe that was true, but we were always happy, and since moving to a "big" city (it isn't huge, but significantly bigger than my hometown) I've begun to realize how lucky we were for the place we grew up.
I loved hearing your opinion on this, you write beautifully <3
yes i'm so jealous of my mum and her small town stories tbh - i'm glad you can appreciate that :)
as a girl who walks around my suburban town listening to the whole stick season album, i completely feel u! i think u make such an interesting point about everyone wanting to be both a victim and the main character, which really just translates to the fact that everyone secretly wants attention. which is natural, i suppose. this was so insightful as always and i really see myself in your words!! <3
idk what it is with suburban girls and stick season lmao
ty soo much and i'm glad you could relate :))
I relate to this so much, even though I’m from Europe and not from Australia haha. I’m also so lucky to have travelled a lot (it’s quite easy in Europe lol) but I’m also from a smaller city and recently one of my friends has moved to London to study there and I envy her (although I don’t like to admit it). But I’ve been to London, and although I loved it, being there didn’t make me necessarily „happier“ u know. I think it’s really the people you are surrounded with and the things you love (I can do yoga here too and go to book shops), in London it’s just really cool to see a Paul mescal movie on a big screen whereas here, no one cares (I don’t know if that makes sense) and there are a lot more cool art galleries and shows and stuff, but yeah, I struggle a lot with never feeling satisfied although I’m privileged to even attend university and live where I live and being able to hopefully choose one day where to live.
ooh yeah the paul mescal on a big screen + art galleries is definitely a motivation!! the culture scene where i live is kind of mid too
i'm lowkey jealous of ppl in europe precisely bc of the travelling thing it takes so long to get anywhere here that ig it's easier to feel kinda isolated